Learning to be unapologetically myself has been one of the hardest and most liberating journeys of my life. Stripping away the layers of societal conditioning, trauma, and survival responses has meant confronting how much of my identity was never really mine.
From the time I was young, I absorbed the message: Be pretty, be skinny, have perfect eyebrows, smooth hair, and a lifted booty. Walk this way, talk that way, and above all, make sure you’re pleasing to the male gaze. Everything revolved around external validation—being noticed, being admired, being deemed “worthy.”
But who am I without all of that?
Who am I when my eyebrows aren’t plucked, my hair is frizzy, and I haven’t worn makeup in weeks? Who am I when my body carries 30 extra pounds, and I leave the house looking uncurated, unpolished, and entirely… real? The truth is, I’m still trying to figure that out.
For so long, I tied my worth to what others thought of me. Compliments, accolades, the approving glance of a stranger—it all felt like currency in a world where I was desperate to feel enough. Letting go of that need is terrifying because, without those external markers, where does self-worth come from?
I’m learning that it comes from within, in the quiet moments when I can look in the mirror and say, “I love me.” Not for how I look, but for who I am. For the resilience I’ve shown. For the kindness I offer. For the person I’m becoming, beyond the layers of conditioning that told me I was never enough.
I think this struggle resonates with many of us, especially Gen X women who grew up in a time of impossible beauty standards. Even today, in the era of social media, the pressure persists—affecting men and women alike, leaving us comparing ourselves to airbrushed versions of reality.
The corporate patriarchy created these standards, not us. Yet, unlearning them feels like an uphill battle after decades of being told how to look, act, and feel. I don’t have the answers, but I’m working on it, piece by piece.
I find hope in younger generations. Gen Z women seem to embody a confidence and self-love that’s inspiring. They reject perfectionism in favor of authenticity, and they celebrate beauty in all its forms. Perhaps they hold the answers we’ve been searching for.
If you’ve struggled with these same feelings—of inadequacy, of seeking validation from others—I hope this post touches something in you. I hope it sparks a conversation about how we can lift each other up and move forward together.
We deserve to love ourselves as we are, in every messy, unpolished moment. And we deserve to remind one another that true beauty comes from within.
Let’s start the dialogue. Let’s break the cycle.
#SecondBloom #SelfLoveJourney #UnapologeticallyMe #BodyPositivity #SocietalExpectations #BreakingTheCycle #SelfWorth #Authenticity #InnerBeauty
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