For years, I lived my life trying to make everyone around me happy. I wanted to be liked, to be accepted, and to never let anyone down. I was a people-pleaser to my core. I said yes when I wanted to say no, I prioritized others’ needs over my own, and I constantly sought validation by trying to be everything for everyone. But in doing so, I lost sight of myself.
Healing from people-pleasing has been a journey of realizing that my worth isn’t dependent on how much I give to others or how often I say yes. It’s about recognizing the people in my life who genuinely choose me—those who show up, who reciprocate, who value me for who I am, not just what I do for them. I’ve learned to embrace the idea that it’s okay to set boundaries and to put myself first. In fact, it’s not only okay; it’s essential.
Choosing the people who consistently choose me has been one of the most empowering decisions I’ve ever made. It’s about surrounding myself with those who respect my boundaries, who celebrate my growth, and who love me without conditions. It’s about letting go of the guilt that comes with saying no and recognizing that I deserve to be surrounded by people who uplift and support me.
I’m learning that real connection doesn’t come from sacrificing myself for others—it comes from being true to myself and letting the right people into my life. It’s not always easy to make that shift, especially after years of prioritizing everyone else. But it’s a choice I make every day, and it’s a choice that continues to heal me.
If you’ve ever struggled with people-pleasing, I encourage you to take a step back and ask: Are the people in your life choosing you, too? Do they support your growth, your boundaries, your well-being? You deserve that kind of love and support. Choose those who choose you—you’ll be amazed at how freeing it feels to finally put yourself first.
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